I think death is awkward and uncomfortable. People don’t know what to say to a person who has lost such a significant part of their heart. They don’t want to ‘bring up’ any pain or trigger hard memories about the loved one. So they say nothing, or avoid the topic all together. Others try to sympathize and end up talking about their cousins best friend who went though the same thing. Awkward. It just is.
But as one who has experienced significant loss, let me tell you, it doesn’t hurt to hear others speak his name. I love talking about him. I love when others remember him too. It makes him real. It reminds me just how loved and wonderful he was and still is. Speaking his name doesn’t bring up anything that isn’t already there, because I feel it all whether my loved one is talked about by others or not. There isn’t a day that passes that he isn’t on my mind. It is such a gift to my grieving heart when friends or family send me pictures or a text or anything that reminds me that I’m not alone. That he isn’t forgotten.
It’s ok to say his name.
I am missing my RJ today. 💙